Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where did
you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She
threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't fit."
Understanding Engineers - 2
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - 3
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting
for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper, let's have a word
with him. Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us?"
They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes,
that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free
anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Understanding Engineers -4
Q: What is
the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - 5
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - 6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has
many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run
a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - 7
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.
Understanding Engineers - 8
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over,picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke
up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me
back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
Posted by Michael T. Wayne- A Little Crazy
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